Kites
by Luca-Pacheco
Summary: The team needs to relax and have fun, so that's what they do ;


**KITES**

**Pairings: **Gibbs/Abby, Tony/Ziva, Ducky/Penny,Jimmy/Breena, but they're all very subtle and non-disruptive.

**Rating: **FR-13

**Genre: **Humor

**Spoilers: **None

**Disclaimer: **Neither NCIS nor the characters belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't.

"_I do not know how she does it. I did not think I could ever be as happy in my life as I am right now. What is her secret, McGee?"_

_"I have no idea. But Penny's brownies sure tasted different when I was a child"_

_"When I was a young man, I used to go to Jamaica on vacations…"_

_"And what happened there, Ducky?"_

_"… nothing… but it was cool…"_

_"You know what's cool? Fight Club. Nothing like having your primal instincts afloat, beyond the surface of clean suits and a materialistic… uh-oh, I messed up… Rule #1: You do not talk about Fight Club… I'm screwed, I'm screwed!"_

_"Calm down DiNozzo. Or do you want me to he… he… hehehehehehe!"_

_"Hehehehehehehe!"_

_"Hehehehehehehe!"_

_"Hehehehehehehe!"_

_"…"_

_"…"_

_"…"_

_"…"_

_"Bert told me to get a new tat. One with rainbows and glittery stuff… but Major Mass Spec said I should get one of a bat instead…"_

_"Breena, you and I have matching tats, isn't it awesome? Maybe our children will be born with tats…"_

_"And boots…"_

_"And a leather jacket"_

_"They'll be totally badass…"_

_"Are you guys sure that's how it works?"_

_"I don't think so…"_

_"What if… what if the genetic code was a language and we just needed to learn it to write with it? I could write a poem. A dark love poem, and it would come to life because it's made of DNA, and it would chase me day and night…"_

_"Abbs…"_

_"Yes?"_

_"You have to show me your tattoo when you get it, okay?"_

_"Of course, my silver-haired fox!"_

_"…"_

_"I won't even pretend I didn't say that"_

_"And I won't even pretend I didn't like it…"_

_"Why do you get to see Abby's tats, Boss?"_

_"Because I'm the boss and I have to approve each and every tattoo that Abby gets, right Abbs?"_

_"Yep"_

_"But you haven't seen Ziva's tat"_

_"She doesn't have a tat, Tony, she would've told me!"_

_"Yes, she does"_

_"Did she get a tattoo without my advice?"_

_"It's a dagger on her left hipbone. It looks pretty, I swear!"_

_"Yes, it is pretty, Abby! Thank you for defending my honor, Tony"_

_"You're welcome, Zivers, high five! … you don't really need to see it, do you, Boss?"_

_"Nah. Rule 38: Your tat, your lead"_

_"Sounds reasonable"_

_"It's not fair. Why can they see your tattoos and I can't?"_

_"Oh McGee, that's because… because… why is that, Ziva?"_

_"Well… actually… you are right. We are really mean, I am sorry McGee"_

_"I'm sorry too, we just forget…"_

_"Forget what?"_

_"Forgetting, McGee, is a natural process of the human mind. With all the tribulations we must go through during our lives, a non-selective memory could only be a disadvantage to our stability and peace of mind as we travel down the path of existence"_

_"That's really deep, Dr. Mallard"_

_"…yeah…"_

_"Uh-oh…"_

_"What's wrong, Mc… uh… Probie?"_

_"I think Abby's DNA poem monster is here, it's after us!"_

_"Oh my God, is that true, Jimmy?"_

_"Do not worry, people! I am a trained assassin and former Mossad agent, and I can take on any threat, even if it is a DNA poem monster"_

_"But how?"_

_"Oh my god…"_

_"With my laser rays. Show your face to us you monster! Pew pew pew!"_

_"Aim higher, Ziva!"_

_"Yes, Boss! Pew pew pew! Tony, Abby, McGee, hold it down while I shoot it!"_

_"I got it, Ziva! We're not letting it scape! Hit it harder, Abby!"_

_"I'm trying… I'm a forensic scientist, not an agent…"_

_"Pew pew pew pew!"_

_"Let it to me! Die, monster, die! Die!"_

_"Wow… good job Breena!"_

_"What's going on here?"_

_"Penny! Best grandma ever! We were taking down a DNA poem monster…"_

_"What?"_

_"It is true. It was camouflaging as a couch"_

_"Oh my god… are you all ok? Did it hurt anyone?"_

_"Not at all, we're fiiine"_

_"…yeah…"_

_"Penny…"_

_"Yes, Tim?"_

_"… did you change the recipe?"_

_"what recipe?"_

_"For the brownies…"_

_"Aren't they delicious? They have my secret ingredient!"_

_"Is it looove?"_

_"Yes! That's what it is. It is loooove"_

_"See Gibbs? I told you and you wouldn't believe me…"_

_"She did tell me, I should've listened…"_

_"Anything that is made by such delicate hands is bound to be delicious, milady"_

_"Are you hitting on my grandma, Ducky?"_

_"I certainly am"_

_"Hhmmm… Ok"_

_"You can't stop love, Mc…Cupid…"_

_"What are you talking about? What is love?"_

_"What is love?"_

_"Baby don't hurt me"_

_"Don't hurt me…"_

_"No moooore…"_

_"We sound cool…"_

_"We sound like rock-stars. We should start a band"_

_"We could be really famous, and travel around the world, and we could have lots of money and wake up in a different country every day and be together forever"_

_"That would be awesome"_

_"That's cool. I'm hungry. We should order pizza"_

_"I am hungry too, Gibbs. Very, very hungry. We need to order pizza!"_

_"And ice cream!"_

_"And pancakes!"_

_"What's in the fridge, grandma Penny?"_

_"I don't know… I think there's nothing left there… I think we already ate everything!"_

_"This is an emergency. Tony, call right now and order an extra large pizza… no no, let it be three!"_

_"I don't remember the number, Boss"_

_"Oh, don't worry, it's on speed-dial, here"_

_"What do we do while the pizza guy gets here?"_

_"I brought sandwiches! In my bag, Mc… Probie! Let's eat them while the pizza gets here!"_

_"Let's go!"_

_"Jimmy, this is the best bachelor/bachelorette party I've ever been to"_

_"I told you it was a good idea to do something relaxed, without alcohol… we're having fun, and we won't have any regrets tomorrow morning"_

_"Yeah… those brownies are delicious… what if we hired McGee's grandma to make our wedding cake?"_

_"That would be awesome!"_

**THE END**

_**Author notes: Rating is for implied drug use and implied having fun with it. Also, please someone take the computer away from me.**_


End file.
